Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder -Swim Suit Edition

This post was inspired by one of my recent tweets about bathing suit shopping. Which by the way should be a paid shopping trip because it is the most horrible, long, exhausting shopping trip I've ever made!

Swim Suit Issue - I'm short. I'm thick and frumpy. I'm short (just making sure you didn't miss that one). I'm a little wide in the back and a little hefty up top. Do you know how hard it is to find a swim suit for a body like that? Impossible! And, if you want to pay a reasonable price for said impossible to find suit, well, then it becomes even more impossible!

So, while on my recently impossible search for a new swim suit I was forced to publicly ask the following questions;


Question # 1 - Why is is so hard to find a bra style top that has large cups but small straps? Just because you have big boobs doesn't mean you're 6' 5" and weigh 225. Its a suit for a woman, not a line backer.

Question # 2 - Why do they still sell suits as a set? Is any woman the same size on bottom as she is on top?

Question # 3 - Did bathing suit manufacturers run out of material or are suit bottoms getting closer and closer to thongs each year?

Question # 4 - What in the hell happened to actually matching colors and patterns? I've seen suits with half zebra stripes mixed in with some plaid and neon.Seriously? It looks like the local high schools art class threw up on all the fabric in the world.

 Question # 5 - Why are all the tops for busty women halter style? Its obvious men designed these because if a woman with anything larger than a full C cup made a swim suit top I can assure you it wouldn't be of the halter variety. Do you know how quickly you give yourself a neck injury supporting those girls around the beach all day by just your halter top bikini? Hello Mr. Chiropractor

Question # 6 -What woman buying a large size top or a D size top needs padding? I understand the liners in a bathing suit, no one wants to show everyone how cold they are when they exit the pool. But the 3 inches of padding in a DD cup? Puh-lease!